Perceiving things real

You probably know this. Something makes you sad, yet someone is laughing. There is a trauma with this. In reality the person laughing does not feel what you feel and then laughs. That is humanly impossible.

A little story about being self-conscious Part 2

This is still about the same situation…busstop out of service, but you want to relax. And the thing was, you cannot be selfconscious without knowing that there is no service. So that was a relief. It was just if you would relax from there, then it changes again :)…So far…But then I stumbled about another theme of it, that it isn’t.. how to say, it isn’t like an advice, it isn’t that one would feel kind of smallish. That actually resolves in part 2:

…And anyway 🙂 whoever relaxes waiting for the bus? The reason people are looking is very different. They might wanna know how can you just do that so easily or they don’t even know why they are looking. But the last thing that would appear to them is that you were waiting for a bus which isn’t even a big deal but we fear to look stupid. We fear to think/believe we would do something stupid and others believing it. In itself we do not fear to have mistaken that, which is why, to say, that it is no big deal has something dumbing down to it, if you would take it in a advice giving way which it isn’t.

If you went like to not give a fuck, you have the other thing not resolved. In itself it is true, actually it is like a hint that I wonder why we don’t follow it. It means that somehow you can actually just sit there and all concerns do not apply (but of course sometimes the fear means you don’t want to do something). It just feels off if you would relax “anyway”, you’re not really getting yourself then and it’s all a bit wired up then. So that means, there is no point in fearing to fear, because it’s good, you can experience it, look at others how nobody thinks so.

edit: But maybe I see it wrong because don’t we lose our charme and naturalness when we overthink it like that and we rather just want to feel as we feel. I now feel it has an overimportance about fixing something that doesn’t really matter. It feels sad. Because it feels not free.

A little story about being self-conscious

At times I feel a little selfconscious. I was sitting at a busstop that was out of service, to relax. And I got a bit selfconscious about it looking as if I was waiting for the bus. Until I realised that my selfconsciousness already includes knowing that the busstop is out of service. It’s rather a metaphor cause there is nothing to this situation really. Now you might think, ok if I wasn’t selfconscious then it’s not inclusive so you might get s.c. because of that but then you would realise that being s.c. still is absurd for the reason I just mentioned, so it’s kind of a thing of you might aswell not be s.c. or nevermind or such. Or wait, maybe just switch back and forth 🙂 until you are tired of this silly stuff. Because haha everytime you are selfconscious it is true: It includes you know the busstop is out of service hahaha

And anyway 🙂 whoever relaxes waiting for the bus? The reason people are looking is very different. They might wanna know how can you just do that so easily or they don’t even know why they are looking. But the last thing that would appear to them is that you were waiting for a bus which isn’t even a big deal but we fear to look stupid. We fear to think we would do something stupid and others believing it. In itself we do not fear to have mistaken that, which is why, to say, that it is no big deal has something dumbing down to it, if you would take it in a advice giving way which it isn’t.

Meaning of words (1): insecure, courageous, confidence

Every now and then I come across some interesting relations with words that I’m just gonna write about here.

So here is the chunk of words that came up when translating a Russian word:

cocky, confident, assertive, bold, presumptuous, cocksure, perky, opinionated, bumptious, overweening, nervy, positive, pragmatic, dogmatic, reliant, sure of oneself, self-confident, self-assured, self-sufficient

It obviously has flipsides. But maybe we often don’t see it the right way.

For example nervy means: nervous, uncalm, insecure but also bold, jumpy and courageous. And it is interesting because when you are confident you are sure and therefore calm. It is about a connection within. But when you are not confident you might be uncalm but it is very close to courageous cause if you were confident you wouldn’t need to be courageous. In this sense insecure seems very different from the usual way it gets looked at. I mean sometimes the connection is not very good but you still feel something is right even though you feel all the other things that come from doubts. In a way if you have a good intuition you wouldn’t even need courage. Sometimes it is possible to feel how doubts feel that just are never true.

Misunderstandings often clear up by themselves

It feels like the need or the trying to clear something up is often only cause of the belief that it would be the way. Because we don’t know that if we just stay on our page it will clear up by itself. By the lack of the other and by it in itself. Not that it really matters, it’s like inclusive.