Vibe

Sometimes you just gotto look at things from the vibe perspective.

There were people having a fun time in the yard  where I live. It was late around 1 am. They were enjoying themselves (good vibe), laughing but not about someone you could hear (meh vibe) like ridicule.

Then somebody shouted from a window and shut them up and it was quiet then, as if he casted a spell, I mean you could look at it like that. But it was no peaceful silence, rather a dead one, where there has just been something alive.

Now I wonder is it really about silence that you need to be able to sleep (better). Isn’t it more about something comforting which such vibe would be.

Now surely it may have confronted him with such vibe he doesn’t want to have cause it confronts him with something. But then which one is the more mature one. His shouting was based on fear effectively.

As for their reaction, surely if they’d kept it up he’d call the police and they don’t care bout that. But also how often do people change from their joyful vibe to the lower one finding themselves in an argument why they should have this fun time. Why leave the good vibe but is it really a question of choice or rather perception?

Then others may realize the fear in him and would ridicule him, which also makes them lose that vibe although this is rather typical for low vibe get togethers which you can hear by the way people laugh.

Realities

It was around 9 pm when he entered the fast food restaurant. He knew it wasn’t healthy but he didn’t feel like cooking. He just put on an old cap. He was dressing down but then it was fine with him.

“Hm maybe 6 cheeseburgers. I’m really hungry. Or maybe 4 and a bigger burger. But which one.” He didn’t really think it, it was more a feeling.

“Well, I’ll see inside.  Havn’t been here in a while.” When he opened the door he felt a sense of pressure. He knew why. And so it would come. But then he didn’t bother. He just didn’t know yet. And a sense of understanding himself cleared the uncomfortable feeling.

So he walked to the counter. The place was empty overall , nobody waiting before him. He could make out a person in the far right corner but since he didn’t know what to eat exactly he intentionally did not make contact.

He looked up to the menues. Couldn’t find what he was looking for. He was about to remember that the prices for the single burgers were written to the side but before he realized it fully the young woman working there asked: “Hello, what would you like to order?”

Her energy was pressuring and distanced. He knew it was coming, that was the feeling when he opened the door. He tought to himself that it’s just a meaningless situation but then the theme involved he realized is not so meaningless.

Surely he could look at her and tell her that he doesn’t know yet. But it felt so absurd. “Isn’t my bodylanguage..didn’t I already tell you I don’t know yet. DO NOT APPROACH ME.” he thought. He felt angry even calmly gestured with his hand to leave him alone,yet she had to act out the waiting annoyed character. Surely he didn’t reply with words. “People are so focussed on words”, he thought, “when you reply with body language they feel offended as if you act a higher status.”

He realized to not be in her movie. What is her movie even? “Am i keeping her waiting?” While he considered it he realized he somewhat lost touch to his reality and he also realized how he acted out her reality. All of a sudden there was a mix of feeling to be handed a villain role.

After all he just ignored her. But then he knew she ignored him first and he knew he didn’t ignore her. She ruined it what could been a decent meaningful human interaction. Yet he understood her. She clearly felt ignored or played the good old got ya game to release and dump stress.

Before he turned to her and smiled, saying: “I don’t know yet.” he felt her eyes on him, pressuring him. This in return made him take longer than he wanted now appearing as if he was holding her up or playing with her.

That’s why he smiled friendly and cleared it up  yet now appearing apologizing. But what for ? Already in her movie. It wasn’t a please like me smile, it wasn’t weak. Understanding is not weak nor is it funny. He stood to his reality.

At the same time he was angry but also amused at the absurd situation.

He asked her: “How much is this burger from this menue by itself?” She hesitated. He knew why and added: “Oh nevermind I see it is written over there.” She replied: “It is written over there.” acting competent and confident while clearly appearing the opposite.

What an absurd thing to say. He hated this low vibe, this, well stupidity. Emotionally stupid, yet he knew it wasn’r right yet real. He understood too well, it can be a problem he thought amused to himself. The reaons why he asked her was because she interrupted him, so he was like: “If you don’t let me look then please go ahead and answer it for me.”

So he again made up for her incompetence by playing it low, realizing it was written over there and the only thing this person could do is to freaking REPEAT what he just said and act as if she said it.

It seemed, to her it was all about avoiding fears, being focussed on her, completely ignoring other people.

He understood her, he remembered the relationship concept from his music therapy apprenticeship. Level 6 and 5, playful interaction, real connection. Level 3 using the therapist for own needs. This must been one of these level 3 situations. Yet this isn’t therapy.

He zoned out. It got too absurd. He knew she would now overly seriously mention the amount of money. She in fact said it twice. Once before she was heading for the serviettes and then again after she returned to hand over everything. He just looked at the number on the screen and tuned her out.

Surely he knew there should be rather a higher vibe interaction leaving the low work vibe behind. Surely he knew even though it is considered standard to mention the amount of money, he knew it is absurd. Something to be done in your sleep, a quick look while relating. She was afraid of relating surely he thought. So she had to make a big deal of the situation. 9 Euro 16 please.

“It was the same vibe when people tell you to enter your pin and verify with the green button” he thought. One time he played dumb. It was fun. “Enter here?” “I’m not sure I get you right, you said green?,this green here? :)” Of course the person took it personal, that’s the problem with playfulness these days and he felt the villain role being suggested to him and a lack of understanding for why he also was a bit angry. It was the situation, the lack of human exchange. To the person it was a lack of respect.

So he then took his food and said bye. He was already above the things. A friendly bye. But he didn’t expect it to be returned or understood. In fact she didn’t reply and seemed to return the ignoring favour from the beginning by not returning the eye contact.

He felt a sense of absurdity reaching its peak, a bit of sadness and a feeling of letting go and being happy to having stayed true to his reality. He also knew to not be bothered again to help out with something that is pointless and only draws him in into somebody else’s movie which isn’t good for both sides.

At the same time it reminded him of football when a player would pass despite his team colleague clearly appearing to never reach it. He should been there. It’s what the situation demands. He broke the flow. No blame but this pass he felt is still important to be played anyway. And you may appear like a fool, but that’s how fools perceive.

 

Human Body

We all apparantly get born into something. Then after the world biased us we think we have solutions. Nobody remembers what we would have done if we wouldn’t gotten biased.

Yet it seems we can’t cause we need it to get through the world. It seems like we’re stuck but we don’t know it. Or we do not allow to look at it, bring it to our conscious cause we also depend on it.

Like cancer cells attack the body, these cells need healing, yet it spreads by the damage. Healing though is not perceived to be needed. This theme is in the golden child dynamic. Yet it needs energy to fill the void. It’s like an aritifical kept alive situation but feeling very alive and real at the same time as if nothing was wrong. Kinda the worst situation to be in if help is needed. If no energy is taken, the soul seems to attack the body and the same could be happening on the collective level. At the same time this is rather black and white thinking actually.

Then the energy giver get devalued as weak. But it could just be the human body trying to survive. Surely after you gave energy it affects your health and if you get too much it affects your ego.

One shouldn’t doubt humanity just as cancerous cells do not represent a cell in general especially in a healthy body.

Lower consciousness also seems natural for certain roles we take. Surely some of us provide food for example or whatever needs to be done so from this view there is no stupidty. But then it should never be like this. We all have our genius that we rarely get to but that we were meant to get to. Maybe such collective interaction is real and the only hope is to get aware of it to overcome our differences. But it doesn’t change the fact how absurd this world is. As serious as we may act fundamentally it’s really absurd.

Differences that are needed to cope, as if we do our best. Yet those differences also make it worse if such awareness is not there, Otherwise they could heal.

Yet we do think too much on the individual level and we maybe can rarely see what we may actually be doing. Maybe we are more in the same team than we think we are. It’s the perceptions we took that came with our position, a position that had to be taken cause that’s where we left off earlier.

It would be like not realizing we were in the same team is needed to hold everything together as we found it when we came here.

Just a thought.

Writing Songs in your Dreams

I had quite a fascinating insight about that I would like to share.

So far I had this experience twice. One was a lucid dream the other was a normal dream.

In my lucid dream I was dealing with an opponent cause I realized it was a dream. I threw him out of the room and then I layed down in this dream and went to sleep or actually I was relaxing on a bed with headphones listening to music. I knew it was a dream, I felt my body on my bed, there was a deep relaxation. So I listened to this song and it was an awesome one, I couldn’t remember it though cause it was full stereo with bass, drums, keys, guitar..too much to remember.

Before I come to the point let me share the other dream.

I was in the camera position of an unplugged concert of Oasis. My pov was the camera, I was observing it. And Liam sat there playing the second guitar staccato accents around the offbeats and smiling like a kid looking around in the audience, very playful. It was a great rhythm. while Noel was strumming in d-minor sometjing like “The importance of being idle” and he sang. BUT it was a NEW song, They were performing a new song. And I believed it, I didn’t know I was dreaming.

Now what happened was since I believed it was real, my brain had to create this reality and actually the song sounded well. I only got to the verse, something very simple, yet I would usually not come up with it when trying to write a song. I would be too focussed too close to myself. The focus would be on trying to write a song instead of what I want to write about. The chorus I wrote after waking up but I only got to the 2nd line of it. It was like a filling in song, meaning when you have the first line of the verse you have the whole verse. The melody adjusted to the chord changes, not always how a song goes.

In the first dream even though I knew I was dreaming since I also took it for real, the music coming out of the headsphones I had to invent.

It’s actually quite hard to explain and I guess you can’t really try to do that.

When I was younger I figured a similar approach. I listened to a new album in the evening and in the morning I tried to remember it but since I only listened to it once I came up with my own stuff, yet it wasn’t all that satisfying. The same effect you have when you shower and you listen tomusic from another room and sometimes it feels like something other than it actually is cause you can barely hear it.

In each case my mind was forced to create a reality, the belief that it was real made it possible. Surely it is influenced from the things I already wrote and listen to and I think we do such things when writing songs when beign awake. So I was believing I am at a concert and to make the dream believable I had to come up with a good song and I wasn’t distracted by pressure to succeed at it. It was very natural and automatic.

It turned out to be chords I would usually avoid when trying to write a song. The first line has the chord d-minor which I felt and then the next chord was A major and the melody simply adjusted to that chord like a call and response to then form the figure of a verse going back to d-minor. The chorus was just like a blank to be filled in, the whole song was an overall feeling, yet I struggle with line 3 cause I can’t connect to that feeling and it only works if I don’t try so I’m sure it’ll come back when I don’t try.

Love and Empathy/Philosophing about the world/Collective Unconscious

Love and empathy are always a side-effect of perception and understanding and cannot be forced. In fact forcing it causes inner conflict when our perception doesn’t create the foundation for it.

It is impossible to teach because knowing what this perceptions includes would not allow other perceptions which are neccessary to get there. It is also very unstable and rather impossible to keep this up given the world cause we constanlty get confronted with other perceptions and also need to take these to fulfill our needs or so we think. Not to forget about the pain we handle around. It is as if we wake up for a moment and then it’s gone, I mean the kinda things we realize on our deathbed.

Love and empathy are not our weak but strong sides. It just looks weak and foolish from a perception that is needed to protect. We are very busy with coping. Only facing the world as it is wihile not getting destroyed by it through understanding where somebody comes from will lead to insight. Then you have no other choice but to feel love or you would die from depression. But it’s not coping. Surpressed anger also needs to be expressed before any understanding can come, without causing more pain, for example through imaginations one allows or music or such.

Love is really the thing with us humans, it’s what makes us fight so much because we’re on the other side of it often feeling totally fine through coping. Only when we see our coping for what it is will we get a better idea about what we really want.

Then there is fear of course which is why we hang on to things. Often we see this very clear in others not knowing it also affects us. Or maybe we do but fears are justified because it is fear of a conflicting worldview not having understanding for our side and through this lack of understanding not turning the medal from anger and revenge caused by pain or unlove to love.

Many sins have been done so to speak, but not with full consciousness. We do not see the forgiving aspect of it and feel too committed to our past which is reinforcing. We also do not see that our intentions may be different on a deeper collective level that we cannot understand cause we couldn’t do it then.

Change implies doing away with coping. We force ourselves to do so. Just take sports. Some teams always win not allowing to release and feel good cause you kinda get bored of it, other teams always lose the big matches also not allowing to feel good and overall matches are not as satisfying to watch anymore. Music got worse, videogames got worse overall. Everything got worse pretty much but it may seem okay if you don’t know how it could be. Surely it seems okay with a certain reality.

It’s about how you look at it and the intentions may be different from how it really is. We may not even know the intentions. We just see it from our pov. We see we may be poor and others are rich or the other way around, simplified speaking. To me it looks like a formation of the human body before a change. We would just have to watch out not to confuse ourselves as enemies only to realize when it’s too late that it was a friend or by not being able to face this not being able to wake up and everything just repeats.

I just sense we cannot even afford another big war, cause our technology is too strong to recvover from it. I also sense we need our technology to evolve on the human level or maybe we devolved to make the technology possible to then evolve even further. And surely the perceptions differ. It is always about protecting through holding on to our reality we created. But on a deeper level it seems we are all sleeping. It’s a thin line between letting go and staying protected and can only happen like a dance with a partner. It would be tragic beyond  imagination if we just split into different teams to get to something and not reverse from our required created differences and perceptions of reality also as seeing us as enemies by not seeing us as a human being anymore. It just seems without awareness of what we really might be doing it won’t work. It’s a theory, you gotto consider things.