Being kind to yourself

I feel often we are not kind to ourselves when we know we can do better. But often we also didn’t do better cause our spirit was down and then on top of it sometimes we are not kind to ourselves in such moments or are critical with ourselves which brings us even more down.

This is a double.effect. When our spirit is up we tend to make less mistakes. So be kind to yourself, knowing you could do better but you likely were just down-hearted 🙂

We are expressive beings and surely we could also or do express in such moments, that we are sad or down. It’s just that frustration and such things are better not turned against ourselves through the use of learnt patterns we learnt from others. Surely it expresses but with a different perception emotions could not arise in the first place, resolve or express but not on ourselves but as ourselves.

Then i was thinking that being kind to oneself is more about an inner picture or a perception. A feeling. It’s surely different to when somebody is kind to us.

 

Vibe

Sometimes you just gotto look at things from the vibe perspective.

There were people having a fun time in the yard  where I live. It was late around 1 am. They were enjoying themselves (good vibe), laughing but not about someone you could hear (meh vibe) like ridicule.

Then somebody shouted from a window and shut them up and it was quiet then, as if he casted a spell, I mean you could look at it like that. But it was no peaceful silence, rather a dead one, where there has just been something alive.

Now I wonder is it really about silence that you need to be able to sleep (better). Isn’t it more about something comforting which such vibe would be.

Now surely it may have confronted him with such vibe he doesn’t want to have cause it confronts him with something. But then which one is the more mature one. His shouting was based on fear effectively.

As for their reaction, surely if they’d kept it up he’d call the police and they don’t care bout that. But also how often do people change from their joyful vibe to the lower one finding themselves in an argument why they should have this fun time. Why leave the good vibe but is it really a question of choice or rather perception?

Then others may realize the fear in him and would ridicule him, which also makes them lose that vibe although this is rather typical for low vibe get togethers which you can hear by the way people laugh.

Song in vain

You said you want

to cross the line

but then you thought

this isn’t right

But now you feel like searching on

it’s just a hint within your gut

This could turn out to be wise

For now it feels more like a lie

 

I know it’s you

But I know you don’t re—alize — it’s me

The truth in disguise of my fake destiny

Words just fall between our song and build

a wall that needs to stay no longer than it takes

it takes for this lesson

 

Can’t you feel my soul

I feel we’re drifting away

Can’t you see it’s pure

behind the blur in the way

The more i try to show

The more our love’s resisting to stay

My hands are tied cause you’re half the world away

my hands are tied cause you’re half the world away

even though this is meant rather figuratively

 

Human Body

We all apparantly get born into something. Then after the world biased us we think we have solutions. Nobody remembers what we would have done if we wouldn’t gotten biased.

Yet it seems we can’t cause we need it to get through the world. It seems like we’re stuck but we don’t know it. Or we do not allow to look at it, bring it to our conscious cause we also depend on it.

Like cancer cells attack the body, these cells need healing, yet it spreads by the damage. Healing though is not perceived to be needed. This theme is in the golden child dynamic. Yet it needs energy to fill the void. It’s like an aritifical kept alive situation but feeling very alive and real at the same time as if nothing was wrong. Kinda the worst situation to be in if help is needed. If no energy is taken, the soul seems to attack the body and the same could be happening on the collective level. At the same time this is rather black and white thinking actually.

Then the energy giver get devalued as weak. But it could just be the human body trying to survive. Surely after you gave energy it affects your health and if you get too much it affects your ego.

One shouldn’t doubt humanity just as cancerous cells do not represent a cell in general especially in a healthy body.

Lower consciousness also seems natural for certain roles we take. Surely some of us provide food for example or whatever needs to be done so from this view there is no stupidty. But then it should never be like this. We all have our genius that we rarely get to but that we were meant to get to. Maybe such collective interaction is real and the only hope is to get aware of it to overcome our differences. But it doesn’t change the fact how absurd this world is. As serious as we may act fundamentally it’s really absurd.

Differences that are needed to cope, as if we do our best. Yet those differences also make it worse if such awareness is not there, Otherwise they could heal.

Yet we do think too much on the individual level and we maybe can rarely see what we may actually be doing. Maybe we are more in the same team than we think we are. It’s the perceptions we took that came with our position, a position that had to be taken cause that’s where we left off earlier.

It would be like not realizing we were in the same team is needed to hold everything together as we found it when we came here.

Just a thought.

Friendship

I was wondering what actually makes a good friendship and I think it is about connecting simply.

Just often both don’t know who they are. So the more both know who they are the more they know who the other one is and it almost goes automatic and respect is already included. It’s rare which is kinda weird actually. I just love uncomplicated interactions, knowing if I may get lost in a game maybe, the other one knows me and doesn’t play along.

But it isn’t that easy. There tends to be these things that get in the way which I hate. it can bring both away from themselves causing what could have been a good friendship to break before it started or actually turning it into something both sides suffer from. And then they don’t see the higher body but only the other person and blame and such happens or devalueing. Yet I don’t know if it’s so natural to step aside, after all emotions gotto be dealt with, I mean maybe they cud resolve then but then maybe it’s better to leave it for now and ideally connect back to oneself. I feel it’s gotto be natural like a wave you ride without much self-consciousness.

And overcoming these leads to a deeper friendship. As I wrote perceiving somebody acting away from themselves and not mirroring this back or getting enabled but instead reminding them of who they are. And I don’t like when such happens on the meta level, it’s like stepping aside from life, feels unnatural but it’s different from stepping aside from roles.. And other times these petpeeves are needed. So we naturally accept it knowing the person needs this in their overall way to be and it gets playfully dealt with.

But not everybody who plays a game wants to step away from it and rather depends on it and then doesn’t get the intimate connection he or she may actually want. But it’s maybe not about not wanting something one wants but fear of something which already turned into believing real connections would be weak or such.

The interesting thing is that love is actually very close to friendship, it’s actually rather obvious.

Being selfish/Human Body

I think being selfish is the cells of the human body protecting themselves from further damage not in an egoistical way as we perceive it but with an overall healing in mind. Only when the ability to protect increases it will lead to a different “attitude”.

Part of this protection is causing further damage but there is also being selfish without doing that and it may happen as a side-effect . I’m not sure but I sense it has a tragical touch. If you spin this further you see that healing cells need to learn to protect better by proper perception and patience. They also often get misidentified as hostile which is also tragical causing traumatization on the collective unconscious level.

The ego could be  a protect mechanism on a deeper level.

edit: The question is whether it is healing of a sick body in a dramatical way or if it is just a natural changing process that goes its way anyway or maybe both and without the drama.

Where to take energy from when there is little support

I am not much into physics and this is just a guess but I think there is something to it. Sometimes we are in a situation in life where all we can do is get ourselves out of a mess on our own. Surely there are always options of support.

If we had support in the form of somebody believing in us or generally emotionally supporting us it gets relatively easy to move on. But what for the situations when there is no such support and in fact emotional neglect as in dysfunctional families which increases a depressive state. My guess is that It may appear as if we have to do it on our own but I think we do have another form of energy as our fuel. You could name it reverse support.

And  I think that it is equal to the energy of support. It just needs to be worked with cause otherwise it has a negative effect by causing low belief in oneself and such things. So one would remind oneself of the situations of negative support and then transfer the energy to something like anger.

My overall point is that it can be discouraging to think one would have to do things on your own but the insight that the energy is pretty much the same, even though it takes a different form and different emotions, may help to use this energy properly.

I also think that it is not just anger but also will lead to selflove and selfcare and most importantly to overcome an undermined selfimage. Again I think the main reason for depression in such situations stems from the perception of being lost and having to do things by yourself especially if you compare to other people who may have more support.

So physically the energy of support equals the energy of neglect and where there is energy from outside there is support from outside, just in a different and surely not in straight forward way. I don’t mean to say it was equally easy but there seems to be a way to use that other form of energy as a fuel and overcome the feeling of no support and by that reach a point where you can easier connect to getting support. Accepting the situation seems to be the hardest part but I think there is a lot of light in these circumstances.

Another thing that makes things harder is when the effects of undermining, feeling unloved manifested in our lives in whatever way and by focussing on that it creates a circle. It is a thin line between not ignoring your feelings and protecting yourself from getting sucked up by it.