Being kind to yourself

I feel often we are not kind to ourselves when we know we can do better. But often we also didn’t do better cause our spirit was down and then on top of it sometimes we are not kind to ourselves in such moments or are critical with ourselves which brings us even more down.

This is a double.effect. When our spirit is up we tend to make less mistakes. So be kind to yourself, knowing you could do better but you likely were just down-hearted ūüôā

We are expressive beings and surely we could also or do express in such moments, that we are sad or down. It’s just that frustration and such things are better not turned against ourselves through the use of learnt patterns we learnt from others. Surely it expresses but with a different perception emotions could not arise in the first place, resolve or express but not on ourselves but as ourselves.

Then i was thinking that being kind to oneself is more about an inner picture or a perception. A feeling. It’s surely different to when somebody is kind to us.



Sometimes you just gotto look at things from the vibe perspective.

There were people having a fun time in the yard  where I live. It was late around 1 am. They were enjoying themselves (good vibe), laughing but not about someone you could hear (meh vibe) like ridicule.

Then somebody shouted from a window and shut them up and it was quiet then, as if he casted a spell, I mean you could look at it like that. But it was no peaceful silence, rather a dead one, where there has just been something alive.

Now I wonder is it really about silence that you need to be able to sleep (better). Isn’t it more about something comforting which such vibe would be.

Now surely it may have confronted him with such vibe he doesn’t want to have cause it confronts him with something. But then which one is the more mature one. His shouting was based on fear effectively.

As for their reaction, surely if they’d kept it up he’d call the police and they don’t care bout that. But also how often do people change from their joyful vibe to the lower one finding themselves in an argument why they should have this fun time. Why leave the good vibe but is it really a question of choice or rather perception?

Then others may realize the fear in him and would ridicule him, which also makes them lose that vibe although this is rather typical for low vibe get togethers which you can hear by the way people laugh.

Song in vain

You said you want

to cross the line

but then you thought

this isn’t right

But now you feel like searching on

it’s just a hint within your gut

This could turn out to be wise

For now it feels more like a lie


I know it’s you

But I know you don’t re—alize — it’s me

The truth in disguise of my fake destiny

Words just fall between our song and build

a wall that needs to stay no longer than it takes

it takes for this lesson


Can’t you feel my soul

I feel we’re drifting away

Can’t you see it’s pure

behind the blur in the way

The more i try to show

The more our love’s resisting to stay

My hands are tied cause you’re half the world away

my hands are tied cause you’re half the world away

even though this is meant rather figuratively


Human Body

We all apparantly get born into something. Then after the world biased us we think we have solutions. Nobody remembers what we would have done if we wouldn’t gotten biased.

Yet it seems we can’t cause we need it to get through the world. It seems like we’re stuck but we don’t know it. Or we do not allow to look at it, bring it to our conscious cause we also depend on it.

Like cancer cells attack the body, these cells need healing, yet it spreads by the damage. Healing though is not perceived to be needed. This theme is in the golden child dynamic. Yet it needs energy to fill the void. It’s like an aritifical kept alive situation but feeling very alive and real at the same time as if nothing was wrong. Kinda the worst situation to be in if help is needed. If no energy is taken, the soul seems to attack the body and the same could be happening on the collective level. At the same time this is rather black and white thinking actually.

Then the energy giver get devalued as weak. But it could just be the human body trying to survive. Surely after you gave energy it affects your health and if you get too much it affects your ego.

One shouldn’t doubt humanity just as cancerous cells do not represent a cell in general especially in a healthy body.

Lower consciousness also seems natural for certain roles we take. Surely some of us provide food for example or whatever needs to be done so from this view there is no stupidty. But then it should never be like this. We all have our genius that we rarely get to but that we were meant to get to. Maybe such collective interaction is real and the only hope is to get aware of it to overcome our differences. But it doesn’t change the fact how absurd this world is. As serious as we may act fundamentally it’s really absurd.

Differences that are needed to cope, as if we do our best. Yet those differences also make it worse if such awareness is not there, Otherwise they could heal.

Yet we do think too much on the individual level and we maybe can rarely see what we may actually be doing. Maybe we are more in the same team than we think we are. It’s the perceptions we took that came with our position, a position that had to be taken cause that’s where we left off earlier.

It would be like not realizing we were in the same team is needed to hold everything together as we found it when we came here.

Just a thought.


I was wondering what actually makes a good friendship and I think it is about connecting simply.

Just often both don’t know who they are. So the more both know who they are the more they know who the other one is and it almost goes automatic and respect is already included. It’s rare which is kinda weird actually. I just love uncomplicated interactions, knowing if I may get lost in a game maybe, the other one knows me and doesn’t play along.

But it isn’t that easy. There tends to be these things that get in the way which I hate. it can bring both away from themselves causing what could have been a good friendship to break before it started or actually turning it into something both sides suffer from. And then they don’t see the higher body but only the other person and blame and such happens or devalueing. Yet I don’t know if it’s so natural to step aside, after all emotions gotto be dealt with, I mean maybe they cud resolve then but then maybe it’s better to leave it for now and ideally connect back to oneself. I feel it’s gotto be natural like a wave you ride without much self-consciousness.

And overcoming these leads to a deeper friendship. As I wrote perceiving somebody acting away from themselves and not mirroring this back or getting enabled but instead reminding them of who they are. And I don’t like when such happens on the meta level, it’s like stepping aside from life, feels unnatural but it’s different from stepping aside from roles.. And other times these petpeeves are needed. So we naturally accept it knowing the person needs this in their overall way to be and it gets playfully dealt with.

But not everybody who plays a game wants to step away from it and rather depends on it and then doesn’t get the intimate connection he or she may actually want. But it’s maybe not about not wanting something one wants but fear of something which already turned into believing real connections would be weak or such.

The interesting thing is that love is actually very close to friendship, it’s actually rather¬†obvious.

Love and Empathy/Philosophing about the world/Collective Unconscious

Love and empathy are always a side-effect of perception and understanding and cannot be forced. In fact forcing it causes inner conflict when our perception doesn’t create the foundation for it.

It is impossible to teach because knowing what this perceptions includes would not allow other perceptions which are neccessary to get there. It is also very unstable and rather impossible to keep this up given the world cause we constanlty get confronted with other perceptions and also need to take these to fulfill our needs or so we think. Not to forget about the pain we handle around. It is as if we wake up for a moment and then it’s gone, I mean the kinda things we realize on our deathbed.

Love and empathy¬†are not our weak but strong sides. It just looks weak and foolish from a perception that is needed to protect. We are very busy with coping. Only facing the world as it is wihile not getting destroyed by it through understanding where somebody comes from will lead to insight. Then you have no other choice but to feel love or you would die from depression. But it’s not coping. Surpressed anger also needs to be expressed before any understanding can come, without causing more pain, for example through imaginations one allows or music or such.

Love is really the thing with us humans, it’s what makes us fight so much because we’re on the other side of it often feeling totally fine through coping. Only when we see our coping for what it is will we get a better idea about what we really want.

Then there is fear of course which is why we hang on to things. Often we see this very clear in others not knowing it also affects us. Or maybe we do but fears are justified because it is fear of a conflicting worldview not having understanding for our side and through this lack of understanding not turning the medal from anger and revenge caused by pain or unlove to love.

Many sins have been done so to speak, but not with full consciousness. We do not see the forgiving aspect of it and feel too committed to our past which is reinforcing. We also do not see that our intentions may be different on a deeper collective level that we cannot understand cause we couldn’t do it then.

Change implies doing away with coping. We force ourselves to do so. Just take sports. Some teams always win not allowing to release and feel good cause you kinda get bored of it, other teams always lose the big matches also not allowing to feel good and overall matches are not as satisfying to watch anymore. Music got worse, videogames got worse overall. Everything got worse pretty much but it may seem okay if you don’t know how it could be. Surely it seems okay with a certain reality.

It’s about how you look at it and the intentions may be different from how it really is. We may not even know the intentions. We just see it from our pov. We see we may be poor and others are rich or the other way around, simplified speaking. To me it looks like a formation of the human body before a change. We would just have to watch out not to confuse ourselves as enemies only to realize when it’s too late that it was a friend or by not being able to face this not being able to wake up and everything just repeats.

I just sense we cannot even afford another big war, cause our technology is too strong to recvover from it. I also sense we need our technology to evolve on the human level or maybe we devolved to make the technology possible to then evolve even further. And surely the perceptions differ. It is always about protecting through holding on to our reality we created. But on a deeper level it seems we are all sleeping. It’s a thin line between letting go and staying protected and can only happen like a dance with a partner. It would be tragic beyond ¬†imagination if we just split into different teams to get to something and not reverse from our required created differences and perceptions of reality also as seeing us as enemies by not seeing us as a human being anymore. It just seems without awareness of what we really might be doing it won’t work. It’s a theory, you gotto consider things.

Being selfish/Human Body

I think being selfish is the cells of the human body protecting themselves from further damage not in an egoistical way as we perceive it but with an overall healing in mind. Only when the ability to protect increases it will lead to a different “attitude”.

Part of this protection is causing further damage but there is also being selfish without doing that and it may happen as a side-effect . I’m not sure but I sense it has a tragical touch. If you spin this further you see that healing cells need to learn to protect better by proper perception and patience. They also often get misidentified as hostile which is also tragical causing traumatization on the collective unconscious level.

The ego could be  a protect mechanism on a deeper level.

edit: The question is whether it is healing of a sick body in a dramatical way or if it is just a natural changing process that goes its way anyway or maybe both and without the drama.