The good version of not giving a fuck

Not giving a fuck is feeling bothered but then not giving a fuck about that.

good version:

For example someone could hear your music or singing but that doesn’t change that you can still do it. And you know it’s like the most normal way you could do something.

It’s actually not so easy to say what I mean. I was listening to music and I noticed it was louder than I thought it would be, so to speak. I was enjoying it, if enjoying is the right word. So, then I noticed that it is louder. Which isn’t a problem ,surely, but it made me realize that a neighbour could actually hear it and that thought distracted me from the experience. But then I felt, whatever, because I can still do it. Like the thing is 100 %ed by me, just like when you would be visable by people living across the yard, who could look in your window. Like you could still enjoy or do that thing. And the thing is, by doing it like that, it is the most possible natural or least weird way, so you know you’re good. While mainly it was just this feeling of that I could keep doing it like that.

Poem: Can’t think of anything much

I feel to write a poem much

But can’t think of anything much

Not even can go to next line
without it being not in line
As you can see I meanwhile found
out how to set that setting sound
So now I can start writing poem
If only I would know how to then
Or what about not how to do
I really have no fucking clue
And I recalled that I was more 
inspired than right now, before
I also feel not want to know
what is the reason for this low
So I'm just typing bit away
and feel the way I feel today
There's surely so much things and stuff 
to write a poem bout, enough
While I don't see a point at all
To write..., well maybe something lol
I mean something to laugh about
Just cared to make that curve go round
And yeah it did express it well
taking a look from here, can tell
So something funny would be good
That would make for a change of mood
And actually that kinda did
make me feel better quite a bit
So how does one find such a thing
to lighten up spirit within
I'm surely not supposed to tell
a joke that wouldn't do so well
Well maybe I stumble about
something that you can laugh out loud
You know something hilarious
but what the heck should rhyme with this
Well guess I just type, keeping at
already found new po'm format
While I don't know why that, to mention 
And nothing rhymes on that so, bench it
That curve was kinda really tricky
Which just translates to just been tricky
Cause kinda really is as if
you wouldn't write either of it
Although that isn't even true
Just check the rhyme to get the clue
Now I don't know where to go from
here, surely not stay round for long
Somehow the mood a bit just dropped
Because I went about that, stopped
So lol as you can see that's just
no wonder then, of course that busts
Or maybe I just didn't get
that it was funny quite instead
So do you have to wrap up poem
or sum it up or what's the form
Hm guess I skip on that and land
on just this line and skip the rhyme

  

Women testing for strength/neediness

This is such a misunderstanding. The girl is pulling away to test how you respond to that pressure which is a natural need for her to find someone strong. But the guy might actually feel like she is leaving for real or doesn’t like him anymore. And you know..she isn’t testing how the guy responds to her leaving forever.

It’s literally just a pure wait. Until there is green light. She is literally testing how good you are at waiting…

And you know, if you are lost in that movie, it won’t do it if you feel like ok I’m gonna not call her/write her, but then when she gets back in touch, that built up excitement shows and gonna give her a wrong confirmation. Because this excitement is not at all giving her any of the information she was looking for.

And anyway why would it not be true that it has to be a fucking drama/misunderstanding when the feelings are so intense? What else but that would it be? But okay that is still of drama.

I mean it’s no issue if you know that. Then you just let her and like wait like at the traffic lights. Let her do her test you know 🙂 Just let her do it even though it has no point.

Perceiving things real

You probably know this. Something makes you sad, yet someone is laughing. There is a trauma with this. In reality the person laughing does not feel what you feel and then laughs. That is humanly impossible.

Sing (poem)

Wherefrom the name of such a thing
what should it mean to laugh to sing
Well, there’s a word for bed you know
up in the northern regions
To English put, to lower means
a thin connection has no dreams

I feel it still needs to be said
to sing does much resemble that
It also has a “g” no “k”
for it just doesn’t go away
And see, the children spille rundt
the things, in play, they are gesund.
And see like children spielen rum
and therefore they are not so dumm
Or you could say they play around
and that’s what makes them very sound

I feel it still needs to be said
to spill does much resemble that
Even with water they do play
while they don’t really mean to say
What we know as to make a point
they are just very much erfreut

meaning of “kind of”

We often just mean to say that. We fully mean it. That has absolutely nothing to do with what it would be if you would not say “kind of” (actually it does, see another post).

For example “That would also be kind of a point” means it is no actual point. What it really is..Idk but it’s not a point, that’s all I care to know and say. Because it is not a fucking point (I got it now). I would just mean to seperate it from being understood as a point. It doesn’t mean that it is downplayed to know what it is. It DOESN’T MATTER 🙂 (to know what it is when it is not a point, but it matters in itself surely. We (humans) are doing a fallacy there. 2 different things. What you would be saying matters. What it was when it is not a point…doesn’t matter 🙂

Like how often do people say “It doesn’t matter!” It’s kind of funny you know. Cause they mean something else than it appears (to be what they mean) Because there is relief in these things. It might feel like shit but you would still be laughing relievedly. I’m just saying. Doesn’t have anything to do with feelings not mattering if there was not such a relief 😦

Confidence in Feeling

My socks have holes atm. About more than half of them. As for the example, it was the situation that made me feel inspired about it so I just put it as it was.

I got out of the shower, it was cold. I quickly wanted to grab underwear and then spontaneously also went for some socks. I recalled that already a day earlier I had trouble finding some with no holes. I grabbed one sock. It was four singles ones as for the one’s I considered. I took a second one and wanted to check it but my feel was it’s good. (while I obviously might still want to see it just cause I wanna if I wanted to)

Here is why:

I had not felt like I can pick 2 with no holes if that wasn’t possible. Also because if every sock had a hole I had already felt like that, but I didn’t, hence I felt there are 2 good ones. And given that I went with my feel I had to get the one that was alright. It wouldn’t made any sense to feel that confident and then have one with a hole.

It doesn’t fucking matter you know, I’m just saying. 🙂

You don’t need to know why something is dumb

Watched a video “Man who not give a damn about bear” I thought/felt: “Ok, that’s already stupid, Idk why. *clicked it away* People always need to figure out why.”

Especially they won’t see why cause they kept watching despite their feel being different.

While on the other side it also relates to something being a prejudice, surely. I mean something else. And as you can see, it doesn’t matter what that something else exactly is. So this is what I mean you know )

Things that also don’t mean anything bad

Just skip the first passage if it feels complicated :)(it does for me too), aside the first sentence.

It’s possible to say “I don’t think a lot of him.” and it being nothing bad so to speak. It’s not bad either way but what I mean is sometimes we feel it might be bad, or we actually just meant to say it in “the good” way and so it feels off when we say it in a disapproving-like way.

I mean it is quite a phenomenon. Because when you say it with its original meaning, then it feels good. And it’s almost as if saying it in a condescending way or whatever this notion is.. would lead to say it in such a way. Because it’s not said in the original way.

In German it means “to not hold a lot of someone”. So you don’t share a lot, which means it doesn’t even interest you. The actual sense of it. Like why would you be so involved with someone you don’t even think of a lot. So it seems the condescending touch actually has to do with not being able to say it in the real way. Being out of touch with that.

But I don’t mean any self fixing; that doesn’t exist.

Meaning of “How do you feel?”

Good, bad?

It doesn’t mean the quality of a feel. It means something in a connective sense. Whether you feel at all. It doesn’t mean a bad feel. There are no bad feelings.

Of course it can mean something like angry or sad but you wouldn’t ask someone who is angry or sad how they feel because you already can sense or see it. You would rather ask why they feel such way.