The good of something old is not at all not inclusive in the good of something new.
In another sense, it’s these 2 things, to either talk it out or create something new. It can be tricky to impossible when talking about it makes it worse. Somebody not wanting to talk about it,might easily feel unconsciously he or she simply can’t because of being lost or seeing it would lead to such, or fears and lack of trust also. Meaning to splitt is often actually because one wants to connect. And to create new requires a good amount of understanding. Somebody might say something but actually misexpressed it and then identified with it and actually doesn’t want to have a reply to it but feels so cause the feeling was pleasant. By that I mean the thing about says no means yes or the other way around.
It is not easy to create a proper relationship when both don’t have a a good sense for reality and self. Otherwise it can be like In Uncharted 2 the Coop, person gets stunned all the time. So the best idea seems to be to not be irritated so easily. Oftentimes, it always looks like it isn’t. Somebody might act like a worried parent, projecting fears but might actually be worried about being in such role maybe. So if you would say something like don’t worry, person would identify. It’s the theme of roleing and reroleing. So it would be better to just let the person be from knowing everything else makes it worse, it’s not really the same as in taking them for real and letting them be. Or saying something simply based on what one sees. It often needs the natural feelings/energy you feel cause we face energy also, so saying this is whatever as in achieving such, cause it’s automatic. It is more about knowing that it needs surely a real perception to feel and there is no point in trying cause when it is, trying is not part of that. Something not to do and knowing why because sometimes the trying is the only thing that might be distracting but not at all overall. Sorry for expressing this complicatedly 🙂
So in that sense you can’t try to create. Relationships go easy as children and around the first quarter of life. Then “shit” of the world or not really the world sneaks in as in I’m angry about it, causes disconnections and it doesn’t matter to think about such and why and that it might make sense or maybe that it is unneccssary. It doesn’t matter cause one might aswell or prefer to create something side-effect wise. But it shows that true love can be like the lottery, to get through and not misunderstand each other and change in the process. At the same it isn’t that hard. It’s always easy actually which is also why it can be so hard.
This is inspired by poker where you not only play your hand but other possible holdings.
The way it translates to life is that sometimes we do something that we think might look weird. For example standing somewhere which isn’t particulrly weird but the reason why we do it might be something we don’t want to communicate, which we do though when we think of it or try not to, which is just a layer of that. Now it is not about lieing to oneself but instead actually not searching for another possible reason for what you do but just knowing that there is one. And then you might get curious what it could be and it is fun also.
It is not the case that an action is in itself because what we really do is the action. So there is no standing around pretty much but either waiting or relaxing or whatever it is or well standing around maybe. So this idea is about to leave it open not to replace your actual thing you are doing but just leaving it open which sometimes just feels better when one isn’t so readable. It is better boundaries.
I mean actually I got inspired for this with regards to something that could be misunderstood because otherwise there is rarely much of a deal about things. I mean sometimes there is just situations where it feels really good to feel like at home.
Somebody devalueing something human. In a way it’s like it doesn’t even work/count because the elephant in the room, the person is human too.
And it’s the same with truth. Which is of high vibe and we tend to low vibe defend it and lower its value such way.
(Now, things like that are also based on something human that could be perceived or not. So, in that sense, is there even any devalueing or is it some unconscious irony or something of that nature as if the person is saying of course I’m not doing any of that (I mean at the same time as of the expression of feelings), but being too lost or something like that. As if the actual communication is very different and we don’t really perceive reality.
I mean, I like this idea because it feels easygoing which doesn’t contrast with the hurt we feel but rather prevents it to some degree potentially. I mean I’m feeling these 2 things: 1 is something like a friendly absurdity expressing: Hey, that doesn’t even work dumbass. Like something hilarious or it could be kind too or whatever else. And the other is something serious based on the feelings involved.)
Making a mis-take playing music …The reason to play something again is not to play the tune perfect as in having to play it perfect. Because that is hilariously absurd (apart from there being a real reason also for such ways). It is simply to stay in touch with the feeling you either want to express through the music “or” the feeling of a tune overall.
The same is true for practice. It is just naturally motivated by wanting to feel how it feels. Surely there are other “ways” or maybe wanting to practise technique to have a flowing experience or to later then “be more expressively”.
Thing is if you want to feel how it feels you get creative technically and how to practise it. But if you force yourself, you don’t even feel why you wanted to play it in the first place. So the pure performance focus becomes absurd cause it distracts.
I was listening to 2 youtube videos at once and realized there is no need for close attention. I listen anyway unless my attention is elsewhere or I’m expressing desinterest.
Listening happens by remembering sound, key words, information something that interests you, just like reading music. And I don’t mean social interaction where it is not only about making a point.
Like somebody says a whole sentence and then naturally you pick up the whole thing but not word by word. Just as much as you need to get it. Yet there is no extra effort to get the point. You let it echo so to speak.
That means you dont have to listen, but you just hear, there is no need for close attention.
It is always about getting the point, that should be in any interest of a speaker
and a speaker should be happy when point is gotten and not care about exact words or demand attention.
Each speaker only “makes listen” to convey his point. That is the balance for listening to somebody. By balance i mean he shouldn’t be able to demand attention cause he would never admit it would not be about making a point.
Once one seems desinterested, it’s only cause he makes no point or already made it or it is already obvious. So, interrupting is not impolite, how absurd it wud be. Only if one acts/feels like one was impolite (nonrealistic perception), it gives new material to demand attention.
I feel often we are not kind to ourselves when we know we can do better. But often we also didn’t do better cause our spirit was down and then on top of it sometimes we are not kind to ourselves in such moments or are critical with ourselves which brings us even more down.
This is a double.effect. When our spirit is up we tend to make less mistakes. So be kind to yourself, knowing you could do better but you likely were just down-hearted 🙂
We are expressive beings and surely we could also or do express in such moments, that we are sad or down. It’s just that frustration and such things are better not turned against ourselves through the use of learnt patterns we learnt from others. Surely it expresses but with a different perception emotions could not arise in the first place, resolve or express but not on ourselves but as ourselves.
Then i was thinking that being kind to oneself is more about an inner picture or a perception. A feeling. It’s surely different to when somebody is kind to us.
When I was a child and overall younger I didn’t know about relationships but I surely had more of them and of better quality.