Human Body

We all apparantly get born into something. Then after the world biased us we think we have solutions. Nobody remembers what we would have done if we wouldn’t gotten biased.

Yet it seems we can’t cause we need it to get through the world. It seems like we’re stuck but we don’t know it. Or we do not allow to look at it, bring it to our conscious cause we also depend on it.

Like cancer cells attack the body, these cells need healing, yet it spreads by the damage. Healing though is not perceived to be needed. This theme is in the golden child dynamic. Yet it needs energy to fill the void. It’s like an aritifical kept alive situation but feeling very alive and real at the same time as if nothing was wrong. Kinda the worst situation to be in if help is needed. If no energy is taken, the soul seems to attack the body and the same could be happening on the collective level. At the same time this is rather black and white thinking actually.

Then the energy giver get devalued as weak. But it could just be the human body trying to survive. Surely after you gave energy it affects your health and if you get too much it affects your ego.

Lower consciousness also seems natural for certain roles we take. Surely some of us provide food for example or whatever needs to be done so from this view there is no stupidty. But then it should never be like this. We all have our genius that we rarely get to but that we were meant to get to. Maybe such collective interaction is real and the only hope is to get aware of it to overcome our differences. But it doesn’t change the fact how absurd this world is. As serious as we may act fundamentally it’s really absurd.

Differences that are needed to cope, as if we do our best. Yet those differences also make it worse if such awareness is not there, Otherwise they could heal.

Yet we do think too much on the individual level and we maybe can rarely see what we may actually be doing. Maybe we are more in the same team than we think we are. It’s the perceptions we took that came with our position, a position that had to be taken cause that’s where we left off earlier.

It would be like not realizing we were in the same team is needed to hold everything together as we found it when we came here.

Just a thought.

edit: I think it’s not all like that. It’s not so much a healing thing actually although this theme is also there. One thought I had was that god at least in our sense, not universe wise, is the collective unconscious simply and not like all knowing but atst also all knowing but more like a plant that is growing. I mean it’s part of us and like another dimension simply, somebody says something and it has a deeper meaning and synchronicity things. Maybe something that is really just based upon waking up. Cause once it would be, the other layer wouldn’t be needed but it’s not so easy. So in that sense the world not seem so absurd. There is also a lot of bizarre love you could call it. Another metapher is water flowing around a stone parting as in polarities. But you know I have no idea 🙂 It won’t make you understand anyway I feel. It has something of passive life because we all have our thing to do anyway and unfortunately often can’t give ourselves the appreciation because of the different beliefs that are needed to kinda like a temporary shizophrenia of the collective unconscious cause I feel it simply doesn’t know yet. I mean wouldn’t it be absurd if there was an all knowing god who lets us go through so much struggle if he knew better. So we simply have like splitt parts of the human body and I feel the internet is needed also because of the added synchronicity. I mean there is something sleeping in our souls that’s for sure and it already expresses in so many ways as for example in inventing the internet. Often we also do something for reasons we think we would do but on the other dimension it has a complete different intention but we wouldn’t do it otherwise often. Also the thing with the mind is really a thing. Just because you sit somewhere and look at something, mindwise, you might be miles away from seeing it. And you can’t try cause it’s such a vague thing to do. Like being confident, you might know how to act confident but yeah atst sometimes it’s enough to believe when you dont remember for sure, but actually rather it’s gotto be something you can’t fake, although the faking isn’tnecc. so far away from how it actually is I mean like both, far and close.

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3 am

There is hope in 3 am

As if the day could start free again

Lovers and friends helped to stay out of this mess

Now they’re rather pulling you in I guess

But it’s not about youth

Used to think it is all my fault

Only fault is to think it’s my fault

Coping brings up illusion so sweet

Coping again just puts me to sleep

Where I dream it’s my fault

Blames I wonder to where they belong

Nothing to find if zoomed out far enough

Empathy n anger are sharing a room

Blaming or breathing new life

At times I still feel this is all just a joke

I’m feeling alive but as soon as I don’t

The joke turns on me

Life-Metaphers: Tetris

There are many expressions of the unconscious.

In Tetris when you clear a line it means that you have integrated an insight, learnt it. There are times when you may feel stuck and maybe don’t know that you have a major chain-reaction waiting, ready to clear tons of stuff out.

It is important to integrate but this game shows that life doesn’t always bring you something that fits 😉 It is a metapher for life. So overintegrating may not work out for life.

In this game you also got to intuitively focus on what comes next while you are “dealing” with the part that comes down.

Then there is the theme of trust. You gotto trust that the part you really need comes.But if you focus too much you neglect other things. So the lesson here is not to zoom too close all the time although this is something different than being in the moment. I feel though feeling the most alive is a mix of being in the now while having something from your past going and also being connected to the future with most of the focus being on the now. The past and future themes are more like something you evoke as a sensation and mix into the now, I guess that’s how we do it.

The theme of letting go is also in it. And come back on it later as is the theme of faith and hope.

Now I don’t like to look at life as a game, yet sometimes it helps,  but rather games as life. Surely there is more about life than learning and integrating but that’s not how I mean it cause that always happens anyway while you just live it.

Where to take energy from when there is little support

I am not much into physics and this is just a guess but I think there is something to it. Sometimes we are in a situation in life where all we can do is get ourselves out of a mess on our own. Surely there are always options of support.

If we had support in the form of somebody believing in us or generally emotionally supporting us it gets relatively easy to move on. But what for the situations when there is no such support and in fact emotional neglect as in dysfunctional families which increases a depressive state. My guess is that It may appear as if we have to do it on our own but I think we do have another form of energy as our fuel. You could name it reverse support.

And  I think that it is equal to the energy of support. It just needs to be worked with cause otherwise it has a negative effect by causing low belief in oneself and such things. So one would remind oneself of the situations of negative support and then transfer the energy to something like anger.

My overall point is that it can be discouraging to think one would have to do things on your own but the insight that the energy is pretty much the same, even though it takes a different form and different emotions, may help to use this energy properly.

I also think that it is not just anger but also will lead to selflove and selfcare and most importantly to overcome an undermined selfimage. Again I think the main reason for depression in such situations stems from the perception of being lost and having to do things by yourself especially if you compare to other people who may have more support.

So physically the energy of support equals the energy of neglect and where there is energy from outside there is support from outside, just in a different and surely not in straight forward way. I don’t mean to say it was equally easy but there seems to be a way to use that other form of energy as a fuel and overcome the feeling of no support and by that reach a point where you can easier connect to getting support. Accepting the situation seems to be the hardest part but I think there is a lot of light in these circumstances.

Another thing that makes things harder is when the effects of undermining, feeling unloved manifested in our lives in whatever way and by focussing on that it creates a circle. It is a thin line between not ignoring your feelings and protecting yourself from getting sucked up by it.