Metapher: Moving on

For stuck situations

Be like a train. With stops I mean.

Fuel: anger for the situation, but it’s not your fault. I could explain but believe me it isn’t This is important so the anger doesn’t go towards yourself.

The kind of anger that lets you function just fine and be respectful or genuinely friendly and giving when you want to but also assertive towards disrespectful behaviour. But not the “anger” that means a button is pushed. That usually goes over the top. I mean the anger that stops others from trying to keep you in your place, where they won’t try to give you their shit and also the anger that stops you from enabeling. The anger that neutralizes fear. It’s there but may not be so easy to get to if there is smoking or other things that may impress rather than express. Smoking is though not just impressing such is drinking. Once rolling there is not just anger but it’s the basic layer. Especially playfulness is back soon then and calmness may also be then the basic layer or part of it.

It comes as a side-effect of perception. But it also makes perception less distorted.

edit:

An example to show what I mean. Let’s say you walk down the road and a person stands in the middle of the road 100 meters away from you and should notice you but keeps being busy with something. There is also a friend.  You could walk around but you could also realize that you would usually be respectful and leave some space (if you do) and this creates this anger. It’s very different from giving others your shit. Surely it depends on the person and their mood. But if their mood is, that they think they can do it with you, then it means when you get angry, they didn’t expect that and had not done so otherwise which results to being afraid to do it with somebody they think they cannot do it with. So they are underestimating you for whatever reason or you know people, they do random things :), always wanna play a game. So you would naturally allow anger and keep moving and see the person get out of the way (unless they are provoking, then anger doesn’t make sense, it’s very different, then it makes more sense to not fearfully but smartfully avoid the situation) And you may catch yourself saying something like: You stand in the fucking way! (not shouting or blaming, just expressing) and afterwards also not smiling since you were real. Yet it does feel liberating. The energy was on your side but it’s genuine without perceiving it, just being. I mean that’s at least how I see it.

I mean I noticed people only try to give me stuff when I’m down and then when I’m alright and ready nothing happens. I try to look at whatever they say as: Want my shit? It’s free

Where to take energy from when there is little support

I am not much into physics and this is just a guess but I think there is something to it. Sometimes we are in a situation in life where all we can do is get ourselves out of a mess on our own. Surely there are always options of support.

If we had support in the form of somebody believing in us or generally emotionally supporting us it gets relatively easy to move on. But what for the situations when there is no such support and in fact emotional neglect as in dysfunctional families which increases a depressive state. My guess is that It may appear as if we have to do it on our own but I think we do have another form of energy as our fuel. You could name it reverse support.

And  I think that it is equal to the energy of support. It just needs to be worked with cause otherwise it has a negative effect by causing low belief in oneself and such things. So one would remind oneself of the situations of negative support and then transfer the energy to something like anger.

My overall point is that it can be discouraging to think one would have to do things on your own but the insight that the energy is pretty much the same, even though it takes a different form and different emotions, may help to use this energy properly.

I also think that it is not just anger but also will lead to selflove and selfcare and most importantly to overcome an undermined selfimage. Again I think the main reason for depression in such situations stems from the perception of being lost and having to do things by yourself especially if you compare to other people who may have more support.

So physically the energy of support equals the energy of neglect and where there is energy from outside there is support from outside, just in a different and surely not in straight forward way. I don’t mean to say it was equally easy but there seems to be a way to use that other form of energy as a fuel and overcome the feeling of no support and by that reach a point where you can easier connect to getting support. Accepting the situation seems to be the hardest part but I think there is a lot of light in these circumstances.

Another thing that makes things harder is when the effects of undermining, feeling unloved manifested in our lives in whatever way and by focussing on that it creates a circle. It is a thin line between not ignoring your feelings and protecting yourself from getting sucked up by it.

Being stuck

I was waking up the other day when a bee tried to get out in the open again and her buzzes kept me awake. I stayed in bed hoping it would find the exit but it just flew against the window pane over and over again.

Then I was thinking how this is exactly how one could get stuck in life. When you try over and over the same thing. But the main part is the frustration from in this case not finding the exit and from the overall established situation.

And the only way it seems to change something about that is to let go of the distress and just fly out and never look back. Or especially through letting go you then have enough space in your sight to even see the opportunites.

The trappy thing about such a situation – being stuck in life – are the emotions. It’s not good to ignore them or act as if everything is just fine, yet being angry and frustrated also doesn’t work, or it depends, expressing emotions is never a bad idea, yet it could reconfirm something that keeps one stuck.

The bee seemed frustrated. Only after she stopped trying the old way she must have found the gap. And once she was out she likely didn’t care much.

But imagine she would have stayed in this position for quite a while, she would probably identified itself with it which is rather a metapher.

So as for such situations it seems that letting go of emotions that reconfirm a self-fulfilling selfimage is the key but the way it is done is through insight and not self-critically or such, just knowing that one did it the wrong way and that was why things didn’t got better and then trusting into a change and through this letting go of frustration.

It’s like you walked down the wrong road and it’s pointless to walk back or on and you can only leave that road.

Another thing that comes with it is the way our realtionships established during such times. And one probably feels the need to stay consistent and how would that look if you would just be like someone else almost or actually just the way one is which is easy to lose touch to. Here i think the best thing one could do is to simply be oneself and never bother to explain yourself or wait for confirmation or such or try to figure out what others may think now and by doing this not getting back on the old road.

One’s literally gotto to leave the whole situation with all that came with it – including ways of looking at life -at the future, the past and all the comforting things about it also. And the main tricky thing is to not leave yourself in such situation behind and walk on empty. It’s all in the way one lets go. It “should” be almost playful or refreshed and calm and not trying hard but it is also possible to try hard not to try hard 😉 which is why i don’t like the word should, I just don’t know any better way to phrase it. Yet a fighting attitude may be reasonable aswell.

The moment I wanted to help out the bee by wanting to open the window it was already flewn out but that probably doesn’t mean much, yet i like this as a metapher aswell. Another one would be how peaceful it flies once out  compared to the tilted attitude before. Yet it was the same bee.